I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
