One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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