i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
home. puking in laundry basket.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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