I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i've created a new STD.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
