I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
