You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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