why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
