toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize