Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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