i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
