his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
