yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
