And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
