i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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