Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
