never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you had me at cake vodka
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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