cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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