While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
