If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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