To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
