Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
