Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize