I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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