i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
