so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
