Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
