We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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