Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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