I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
