Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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