PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
