there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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