BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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