Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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