Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
