There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
