32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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