The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
