I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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