i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
