They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
