Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
