do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
