Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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