Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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