i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
