weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
