Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
