therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
