Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
