I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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