Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize