hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
