I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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