Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
