We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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