I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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