dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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