i just made my gag reflex go away.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
