Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you inspire me to be a worse person
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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