Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
