how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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