Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
