whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
