Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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