mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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