trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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