walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
