one might say we're banned from that church
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Text me some of your sweat
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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