I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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